Lily has been coiled like a spring for the last week. She suspects the squirrels of a cabal, a dog-overthrowing conspiracy, so she dashes from window to window and stands, staring intently, looking for signs of their operation, their acorn-fueled putsch. She attempts to sleep, poised like the lions in front of a NYC library, hips jutting out and head down but ready to leap at a moment's notice. This is a very tiring way to sleep, apparently: she quivers constantly.

Giraffes only have to sleep 2 hours a night. Bullfrogs do not sleep at all. Dolphins -- and many other aquatic mammals -- sleep, such as it is, one hemisphere at a time, maintaining CONSTANT VIGILANCE, as Mad Eye would put it, while still resting. People taking Modafinil can go sleepless for several days, without suffering large performance reductions in analytic thought. Pigeons can be kept awake for a month at a time without any noticeable side-effects (although maybe that's just because they're too stupid to get dumber when they lack sleep.)

With all that said, it's 7:15 on a Friday and I want to go to sleep so much right now I'm having trouble typing this in.

I shall go weld. UV exposure will surely cure my somnambulism, or at least refresh my Vitamin D levels.